Stepping In to Unthinkable Loss and Life Beyond After Losing Her Youngest Son at Sea with Amy Wiebe-Ewoldt
In this episode, Kara steps in with Amy Wiebe-Ewoldt, a beautiful momma who has suffered unfathomable loss. Amy shares how in 2013, she lost her youngest son, Kyle while on an adventure from Australia to New Zealand aboard a famous 1920’s sailboat. Kyle bought a one-way ticket to New Zealand, met the captain of the Nina’ and begged him to join the voyage. He was eager to learn and easy to like… so without any sailing experience, the captain still agreed to let him join the crew. Amy holds onto the fact that “Kyle would’ve gone if there was a hole in the boat.” In this gentle sharing of both her and Kyle’s story, Amy offers us wisdom from a very vulnerable and deep place. Listen in to hear funny and inspiring stories of adventure and a zest for life that will live on in Kyle’s family and friends forever, while holding the unfathomable loss of a child and the life that continues on without him physically here.
Highlights:
The many emotions Amy and her family went through as they waited and hoped while the search for the lost ship continued
The day to day of putting one foot in front of the other, just plugging on.
Things that felt supportive both during the search and after the search was called off, as Amy and her family adjusted expectations.
It just feels like he is “hitch-hiking across the sea”.
The shift from hope to feelings of hopelessness as the search was called off.
Things they do to honor Kyle on significant days like his birthday, the day the storm hit and the day the search called off.
A line in life – before and after things aren’t the same.
The weight in carrying it every single day
It’s hard to get up every day (sometimes self-care = getting up every morning and just GOING)
No one can say “It’s gonna be ok”, because it’s never gonna be ok.
Amy shares how she would offer comfort to any parent who has lost a child. “You cannot pretend to know what someone is going through, even if you have a shared experience.” She makes herself available to anyone who may just need a place to land, a place to be heard. “If there is a mother going through the loss of a child, I’m easily accessible. I will listen to you.”
Quotes:
“Kyle loved doing what no one else would do.”
“We went on hope.”
“It was hard knowing that even if they were out there on a lifeboat, they were not going to be found.”
“My pain is no greater than your pain.”
“You have to take time for yourself and your children have to do what they need to do.”
“He lives on through all of us.”
“Hug your kids. Tell them that you love them.”